I think I died a long time ago.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I think my moral compass just broke
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
