did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
