Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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