You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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