Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I could have mohawked her pubes.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
