hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
