Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
this boner is exhausting
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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