I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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