i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
