Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
