i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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