Who did Billy Mays play for?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
