I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
