Sry I called you an 8
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
