I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
