Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
