just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
