Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize