I wish I could teleport
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
