so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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