apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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