Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
