glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
