threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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