they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
