I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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