My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
