At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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