i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
