I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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