i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
