thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
