so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
