i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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