idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
