I got chris browned last night
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
