Whod you bang
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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