You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
