you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
