dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
