pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
