there's paper in my vomit.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
