I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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