it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
