Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
All I want is dick and wine.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
