just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
