White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i will never coherently bang her
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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