I don't think brook has ever known best
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
