I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
