So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
