got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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