you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
