I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
