You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
